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The following blog is a summary of a message preached by Pastor Eddie Lawrence.

Watch the Sermon HERE!

Not only does what we say matter, but how we say it can make all the difference in how our message is received. Proverbs 25:11 tells us, "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." This beautiful imagery suggests there's a right way to say the right thing - words that are perfectly timed, appropriately delivered, and beautifully presented.

Masters of the Well-Spoken Word

Throughout history, certain individuals have demonstrated remarkable skill in saying things in ways that capture attention and open minds:

C.S. Lewis had this gift. Consider his profound statement: "The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us." In just one sentence, he reframes our entire understanding of God's love and our transformation.

Ronald Reagan was known for his ability to use the right words at the right moment. During a presidential debate when his age (73) was questioned, Reagan disarmed his opponent with humor: "I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit for political purposes my opponent's youth and inexperience." With that single well-crafted response, he turned a potential weakness into a strength.

Jesus: The Ultimate Example of Speaking Wisely

No one demonstrates the power of fitly spoken words better than Jesus. When religious leaders tried to trap Him with trick questions, the Spirit gave Him wisdom to respond perfectly every time.

How Did Jesus Handle Difficult Conversations?

In Matthew 22, religious leaders tried to trap Jesus with a question about paying taxes to Caesar. Rather than falling into their trap, Jesus asked to see the coin used for taxes and simply said, "Render therefore to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's." With this brilliant response, He avoided unnecessary conflict while maintaining truth.

In John 8, when confronted with a woman caught in adultery, Jesus didn't condemn her or speak against Moses' law. Instead, He said to her accusers, "He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first." After they all left, He told the woman, "Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more." He addressed the real issue, didn't condone the sin, but offered grace and direction.

In Luke 15, when criticized for associating with sinners, Jesus told three powerful stories - the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the prodigal son. Through these parables, He beautifully illustrated God's heart for restoration rather than condemnation.

Why Do We Say Hurtful Things?

Many marriages have ended because someone insisted on saying something in the wrong way. Jobs have been lost because people failed to communicate appropriately. Often in arguments, especially in marriage, the issue being argued about isn't the real issue - it's something deeper that hasn't been addressed properly.

The enemy specializes in making mountains out of molehills and ruining relationships over small misunderstandings. When we're angry, we can become experts at "slicing and dicing" relationships with our words.

How Can We Speak More Wisely?

Here are practical steps for weighing your words:

 

  • Think before you speak - Don't be someone who processes thoughts on the way out of your mouth.

 

  • Pray before you speak - Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance, especially in potentially inflammatory situations.

 

  • Wait before you speak - Sometimes you need 24 hours for your emotions to settle. Don't press "send" on that angry text or email until you've calmed down.

 

  • Speak wisely when you speak - Remember Proverbs' wisdom that "a soft answer turns away wrath." It's often not what you say but how you say it.

 

  • Speak truthfully when you speak - If you can't speak truthfully, don't speak at all. However, wisdom may sometimes mean not revealing everything you know.

 

  • Speak graciously when you speak - Let your speech be "seasoned with grace." Even hard truths can be delivered with kindness.

 

The Power of Story in Communication

Jesus often used stories to communicate difficult truths. When teaching children or helping others through challenges, sharing your own experiences can be more effective than direct instruction. Stories create connection and understanding in ways that direct confrontation cannot.

Can the Holy Spirit Help Us Communicate Better?

Jesus promised that the Holy Spirit would help us know what to say when brought before tribunals. Doesn't this principle apply to any situation where we need wisdom to communicate effectively? We can rely on the Spirit's guidance in our everyday conversations.

Life Application

This week, pay close attention to both what you say and how you say it. Before speaking, especially in tense situations, pause and consider:

 

  • Is this the right time to speak?
  • Am I speaking from emotion or wisdom?
  • How can I phrase this in a way that builds up rather than tears down?
  • Would adding grace to my words make them more effective?

 

Ask yourself: When was the last time I said something in a way that damaged a relationship? How could I have communicated the same truth more effectively? What conversation do I need to approach differently this week?

Remember, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." Our words can either build bridges or create barriers. Let's commit to speaking in ways that reflect Christ's character - with truth, wisdom, and grace.