Slideshow image

The following blog is a summary of a message preached by Pastor Eddie Lawrence.

Watch the Sermon HERE!

In a culture that prioritizes comfort above all else, we often resist the very thing that could help us grow. We like our coffee smooth, our beds soft, and our friends agreeable. While God is indeed a God of comfort who sends comforters into our lives, He also sends sharpeners - people who will challenge us to become better.

What Does "Iron Sharpens Iron" Really Mean?

Proverbs 27:17 tells us, "As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." This powerful metaphor reveals that God can use someone else to speak into our lives to help us grow. Notice it specifically mentions "a friend" - someone with whom you have a relationship, someone who knows you and cares about you.

Sometimes when you're in a pit, there are people who will jump down with you to comfort you. But there are times when you need someone who will anchor themselves in truth and reach down to help pull you up. We often interpret agreement as love, but sometimes true love requires difficult conversations.

When Should Friends Speak Into Each Other's Lives?

This isn't about employer-employee relationships, coach-player dynamics, or parent-child authority structures. We're talking about friendships - those people who know you best, who you've shared your heart with, who really care about you. These are the moments when a friend comes to you and says, "I love you, and this isn't about attacking you personally - it's about something you're doing or believing that concerns me."

Face to Face at the Right Place

If we need to speak into a friend's life, it should always be done face to face. Some things shouldn't be shared publicly because walls go up quickly in public settings, making people defensive and unable to hear what you're trying to say.

Proverbs 15:28 shows us the difference: "The heart of the righteous studies to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil." When someone is genuinely concerned, they study how to present their message. There's forethought, prayer, and careful consideration because they love their friend enough to risk the friendship to help them.

This means no texting or emailing sensitive matters. You can't hear tone of voice in a text, and context gets lost. Face-to-face communication allows you to look in their eyes and say, "I care about you, I'm concerned about something you're doing, and I want to help."

Hand in Hand Into God's Plan

The goal is never to show spiritual superiority or win an argument. The heart behind godly correction is helping someone align with God's best for their life. You're speaking into their life because the current path they're on will interfere with their future potential.

Think of it like heart surgery. When a surgeon operates, it's painful and uncomfortable, but the goal is to save a life and provide years of healthy living ahead. Similarly, when God uses someone to speak into your life, don't attack the messenger - recognize that they're trying to help align your life for continued blessing and growth.

How Should We Respond When Friends Challenge Us?

Face the Pain to Get the Gain

Sometimes we change because of pain, and pain can create rapid transformation. Just like building muscle requires resistance, spiritual growth often comes through uncomfortable moments of correction and challenge.

All Scripture is profitable for doctrine, reproof, correction, and instruction in righteousness. God's Word helps us know what to believe, what not to believe, what to do, and what not to do. Sometimes God uses other people to deliver these truths to us.

When someone speaks into your life out of genuine love and concern, you have options: be offended and bitter, or pray about it, weigh it, and if it's from the Lord, thank them and adjust accordingly.

Stay Humble So You Don't Stumble

Galatians 6:1 instructs us: "Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself, lest you also be tempted."

Whether you're giving or receiving correction, humility is essential. If you're helping someone, remember that except for God's grace, you could be in their position. If you're receiving correction, remember that pride can be your greatest enemy in preventing you from receiving what you need to hear.

The goal is restoration - the Greek word "katarizo" means to snap back into place, like setting a broken bone. A properly healed broken bone becomes stronger than it was before the break. God can use painful experiences to make us stronger than we were before.

What Makes Correction Effective?

Ephesians 4:29 gives us the blueprint: "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." When correction is done properly, there will be grace in the message itself that helps the person receive it and act on it.

The key elements include:

  • A spirit of gentleness
  • Clear, specific communication about the issue
  • Love and concern for the person's future
  • Humility and self-awareness
  • Prayer and careful consideration beforehand

 

Why Do We Need This Kind of Friendship?

We all have blind spots - areas where we don't know what we don't know. There can be areas where we're deceived and not seeing clearly. The entrance of God's Word gives light and opens our eyes so we can see.

In these last days, people increasingly seek teachers who will tell them only what they want to hear. But as courageous believers, we should pray: "Lord, help me say yes to your truth when it shows up on my doorstep, even if I don't want to hear it."

We need church families and friendships where we can love each other through the good, the bad, and the ugly. We need that level of trust and transparency to weather the storms ahead.

Life Application

This week, examine your heart's posture toward correction and challenge. Are you surrounding yourself only with people who agree with everything you do, or are you open to friends who love you enough to speak truth into your life?

Consider these questions:

  • When was the last time you allowed someone to challenge you about an area of growth in your life?
  • Are you more concerned with being comfortable or becoming more like Christ?
  • Is there a friend in your life who might need you to lovingly speak truth to them about something you've been sensing?
  • How do you typically respond when someone points out an area where you need to grow - with defensiveness or with humble consideration?

 

Choose to be both a friend who can receive loving correction and one who can give it when led by the Holy Spirit. Remember, the goal isn't to win arguments but to help each other become more like Jesus. Sometimes your light will shine brightest when things seem darkest, and that's evidence that God is at work in your life.